* To write in a detailed way, so that whoever reads our work gets a picture in their head of what our road is like.
(based on Gail Loane ideas "I've got something to say", 2010).
I live on a road with freaky neighbours, with a yellowish house and paddock in the front and heaps of trucks going past. One of my neighbours gets drunk. They always walk around town with beer bottles and when the recycling truck comes it's all beer bottles getting picked up.
by Devon.
I live on a main road just out of Morrinsville, with a dairy down the road. We don't have cows, we have a dry stock farm. Our neighbour likes cars, so do we. I like showing off on my motorbike when the traffic is going by. I like making the cars and trucks beep their horns. We get a lot of trucks and cars go by, but not many motorbikes.
By Shae.
We live next to a main road. By Josh
(The names of the roads have been deleted for privacy reasons).
Shae - your writing made me smile ! The bit about the showing off to make the cars and trucks beep their horns is written well and is funny to read.
ReplyDeleteDevon - you have lots of detail, and this detail helps me to picture what it might be like and what the recycling truck has to pick up !
Josh - you discussed lots of ideas re: busy roads with trucks and cars going past, even though you can't really hear them - it would have been good to have included these details. I like the opening sentence - it's to the point.
This is a comment from a teaching friend who has been into the site to look at the boys writing:
ReplyDeleteThey are achieving the purpose of putting a picture in the reader's head because I could see their stories in my mind. from Gayle.
Another teacher emailed to say she had been on to see the blog and she thought:
ReplyDelete" Great writing."
Some great writing! We could begin to imagine the roads you live down. Some interesting descriptions. Keep writing because we love reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteMrs R and Room 2
Message from Gail Loane...."there is real voice and enthusiasm in this work...... I love hearing stories about young writers finding their authorship.Tell your authors that I loved reading their work and to keep writing....
ReplyDeleteWarm regards
Gail"